This Blog is transferred to new webiste - www.stevannoronha.com

Dear Readers

I have recently launched my own webiste www.stevannoronha.com.

Through this webiste i intend to consolidate all my blogs under one site. This site would contains my writings under the following heads  Entrepreneurship | Life | Travel | Guest Post | Resources. Would be updating it on a weekly basis.Please do visit and provide your feedback


Also as my new company WorldOne Sourcing HK Ltd has completed one year one of our divisions (BrandSTIK) into promo merchandise has developed this new blog which talks about the coolest merchandise from around the world.
Its called www.brandstikbevisible.com

Thanks for reading this and hope to keep in touch

Regards

Why A R Rehman didn’t really win OSCAR for Slumdog Millionaire!

How many times in life have we been disappointed, hurt, frustrated cause what we worked so hard for didn’t really give us the desired results. I remember various instances… during school and college days where the subjects which I studied really hard for, didn’t really commensurate with the marks I got in exams. And I ended up feeling “Why did I not get good marks when I studied so hard”.

During my corporate career there so many of these projects which were handed over to me on Fridays afternoon to be submitted on Monday, as if this project was the game changer for the company? Having worked day and night on weekends and getting the presentation ready I only ended up realizing one did not even see the report for the whole of Monday! And suddenly the project becomes unimportant and all efforts seem like a waste.

Even in relationships many times we feel that we have done a lot but we have not got anything back in return. Recently during my entrepreneurial journey, after pursuing clients for so long, and feeling that we have come so close to bagging that order but somehow it just didn’t materialize. And it results in nothing but frustration

All these instances, we just can’t help but feel that the efforts we put in were a complete waste!

But then few weeks, months or even years down the line I realized that it was not really waste after all. Cause the thoroughness of the subject which was possible cause of the efforts I put in, helped me few years later prepare my neighborhood friend for his exams for which he could not thank me enough.

Cause the project I had worked so hard on and the data I had collected in the process came in so handy for some other project few months later which helped me do a quick turnaround which was very much appreciated my management. Had I not worked on that earlier project, completing this one was impossible.

7 months in my entrepreneurial journey when I look back I realized that all work I had done to pursue a particular client and get business helped me create content which helped me bag orders from at least 4 clients later on even though I still continue to pursue the original one!

It’s then I realized the magic that results are never linear. As I recalled more and more instances where I felt my efforts were wasted, the more and more I could see how those efforts actually helped me gain something much more later in life. Sometimes a few day later, sometime years later. But results did come. The form in which they appear may be misleading to us.

Hardwork definitely gives results. But When? That’s not in your hands

And with that realization, today I focus on just putting right amount of efforts, be it in relationships, or workplace with no expectation of immediate returns. Yes I am not a saint and saying don’t’ expect returns! But I don’t expect immediate returns. ‘Immediate Returns’ being the operative word

Cause the returns will come for sure but it may be in a form where we may find its connection to efforts little difficult to trace if we don’t delve slightly deep. Haven’t we felt sometime that this came easy! Now you can trace back the real efforts which led to this seemingly easy results And you realize that this may just have been possible because of some real efforts done in the past whose time had come to be rewarded

We may have to spend a little time to trace the genesis of the efforts. Then we can appreciate life more beautifully and continue to put our best efforts in whatever we do

So when A R Rehman won the Oscars for Slumdog Millionaire., many wondered that although his music for the movie was good but definitely not his best piece of work as he had done much better work before, I realized that probably in God’s game plan the Oscars which Mr. Rehman received might really be the result for the great work he has done in the past. It could just possibly have been the Oscar for his music for Roja or Taal! Wot Say?

Perspectives...

The Power of Withholding...

There are certain moments in our lives which we would love to forget; some events in the past where we would have said or spoken about something spontaneously which may have caused major repercussions on our relationships be it with friends/family/office colleagues.

Today, we regret what we said and wish to undo it. However for most of us it’s just too late, the damage is already done. Even today I regret things said to friends/family/relatives/office colleagues which have caused tremendous pain and embarrassment. Actually it was a shock that I ended up saying things which otherwise in my normal senses would never have.

A lot of what was generally said was the result of over reaction at that point of time. Things said without much thinking can be dangerous. What is once said remains etched in the memory for ever and till date continue to haunt us. We spend years in developing a relationship and it all ends/gets damaged over something said in a fit of anger. Why existing but even a new relationship which has a potential to develop gets ruined by over reaction by any one person.

In retrospect don’t we feel that IF only we could have controlled our reaction, at that point things would have been so much different and we could have possibly avoided causing long term damage. So if over reaction is really the root cause of the problem then the question is how does one avoid it?

Few months back I had a powerful realization around this (which you may be aware of but which I strongly started believing in). However I must mention that i have still not been able to inculcate this in a big way. I am still a long way away from implementing this. However few instances when I did this it worked beautifully and avoided possible regrets.

The realization for the first time though happened by accident.

Period.

Some time back, I was unhappy with my friend over some incident and felt like giving him a piece of my mind. And believe me when I’m in such a situation I can’t rest till I’ve done that. It was something I had to do and quickly as I was getting impatient. This was sometime late afternoon.

As I was about to phone him, my MD called me over for some important work. He briefed me on some project which I had to complete by the end of day. From that moment on for the rest of the day I was running around to complete the given task. Around 9 pm I was done and mailed the stuff across to my MD. As I was heading home, I suddenly realized about my impending call to this friend who I wanted to shout at…..

However at that moment despite nothing having changed since afternoon I didn’t feel the same urge to shout at him like I did in the afternoon . After thinking about it for a while in fact I let it go. I didn’t call him and I forgot about the incident over the next few …. I can imagine that had I had called him over that afternoon, we would have got into another fight and would have probably lost a friend as i would have surely overreacted!

I slowly began to realize that we over-react due to the fact that at that point of time our emotions over power us ….our EGO becomes active (and starts controlling our behavior) and it makes us do things which at other times we would not have done. The EGO creates this huge urge to release our negative emotions then and there and that cause a lot of pain later.

Although unplanned, I realized that this time around because of the urgent work my MD had given me, i did not allow the EGO to overpower me and say things which I would have regretted later. I knew that I had to be aware of this and consciously not allow the EGO to play the spoilsport in future situations.

There was a need to create a virtual pullout situation every time I get into some emotional rub offs with near and dear ones. That virtual pullout i was in the form of WITHHOLDING THE REACTION for some time.

So tomorrow when you get into an argument with your family/friends/office colleagues and feel like giving something back: HANG ON. Before reacting and making any statement: JUST PAUSE. And remember that you may say something which could have major repercussions later. And hence WITHHOLD YOUR REACTION.

Say to yourself that you will hold your reply till tomorrow. And convince yourself to just get on with some other job for the time being. It’s like you park the thought at one place and get back to it next day. The next day if you still feel like saying the same thing, do it….but I’m 100% sure the urge would have gone and in the process you would have actually avoided something bad.

Important to note is that I’m not saying don’t react at all cause that’s being unrealistic. However by WITHHOLDING you are not allowing the EGO to overpower you at that very moment. The EGO is strongest when you are on an emotional high and channelizes your emotions negatively. With passage of time however it becomes weaker and the urge decreases. And after that initial period if you still feel like shouting/saying something do it as you are only human but the point most of us would end up not reacting at all.

Again this is not easy as it sounds; as the urge to give an immediate feedback is always high. I’ve tried many times but the EGO in me has won 98% of the time. However I’m sure if we keep trying and inculcate the habit of WITHHOLDING actions/reactions when we realize that we are becoming too emotional we have a lot to benefit. Because relations are too precious to be lost/damaged on the basis of something said when you actually didn’t mean it.

Perspectives

(All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2008- 2010© Stevan Noronha. Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.)

The Answer to the Most Difficult Question....

I am sure most of you would relate to this blog. It’s about the endless search for the answers whose questions bother us every now and then.

Why did it happen? Why did I not take up a particular course during my college years? Why did I make friends with him/her? Was it a mistake? Why did my relationship go wrong? Whose mistake was it? Why does it happen to me always?

The questions never stop….the answers are nowhere to be found. And this pursuit leads one to a lot of pain.

Couple of years ago I had found my answer. And now am at peace with most of these questions. I would like to share the incident on how I came across this realization.  

The answer to the most difficult questions in my and possibly our lives…..

Period

Back in the late 2006, one of the most difficult periods of my existence, life was nothing but a journey to seek answers of questions which bothered me a lot. During that time I tried to connect with my deeper self and found solace in meditation and spiritual discourses of Buddhism. I had decided that I would get out of the existing circumstances by taking some bold steps and not just wait for things to happen. An important step was my visit to the Art of Living ashram

 

I visited the Art of Living ashram, Bangalore for a three day meditation course. The Art of Living Ashram is headed by the spiritual leader Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji who is known for the sudharshan kriya, a form of breathing cum meditation exercise. Although I had done this course in Mumbai a year back, I always wanted to visit his ashram; this was probably the right time.

Unlike the other participants at the Art of Living Foundation I was not an ardent follower of Guruji. I was more interested in the meditation bit. He was literally worshipped by many followers. To meet Sri Sri was next to impossible since he would be always traveling around the world. However during the three days I was there, he happened to be at the Ashram. And needless to say the ashram was buzzing with activity. It’s a big occasion if Guruji is at the Ashram. Almost 2,000 people from around the world had gathered to hear him speak and dance with joy at the satsangs that took place every evening which he used to grace

This was the third day of my course at the ashram.

Over the last two days our group of 30 who had undergone the course was spiritually refreshed thanks to the great meditation sessions. Also in the evenings we got chance to attend the satsangs where Guruji himself participated. The mood was electrifying when over 2000 people sang along with Guruji. It was special

However the third day was even better

On the morning of the third day, we were given the surprise that we had a chance to meet Guruji in person. Just the 30 from our batch. The older people in our group were ecstatic; something they could not believe. They were overjoyed. The thought of meeting God in person and touching his feet made them feel blessed. I was a bit uncomfortable cause I really did not want all this. I had enjoyed my course, was feeling better but visiting Guruji was something I was not too kicked about.

However since there was no other option available, I tagged along others in the group to proceed towards his room. This was around 11 in the morning. We were made to wait in a room where Guruji was to meet us.  We had to wait for quite a while since the ushers made sure each one is assembled in the room and took their places. I was sitting at the fag end of the room and was generally chatting up with an old couple with whom I had become close to at the ashram. Actually to think of it was not even 24 hours since I first met them.

Period

At the course venue apart from the meditation sessions we indulged in some activities. Exactly 24 hours ago, in one particular exercise, we had to team up with one person from the group with whom we had not spoken for the entire duration of the course; And then we were suppose to have a conversation with him. We were to share our deepest regret in life! It was an exercise of opening up.

I really don’t know how, but I happened to team up with this old person in his 70’s. I don’t quite remember his name now but he seemed to be a really nice person from the way he spoke. The moment he started talking to me we instantly connected. I was a little uncomfortable so he began first. He was retired lawyer and spoke about his life and the many hardships he had to face. It was like he never got his due in life and he was still waiting for recognition. The way he spoke so openly made me comfortable, I could now easily open up with him.

He was very supportive; he carefully listened to whatever I was saying. It’s fascinating how you end up sharing your most personal feelings with a person whom you had met only 20 minutes ago. And believe me, once you do that you become connected with him in a big way.

Period

It’s been 10 minutes now since we were waiting for Guruji and my conversation with the retired lawyer was about Guruji himself. Both of them, the retired lawyer and his wife were ardent followers of Guruji and said that they were lucky to get a chance to meet him and get his blessing. In a few minutes, Guruji entered the hall and greeted everyone.

As I mentioned earlier, I really don’t believe much in spiritual gurus. I feel all of them talk about the same thing, just that they are packaged differently. However I must admit that there was a certain positive energy that was filled in the room the moment he entered. Everybody’s mood was lifted. His smile and persona was infectious; childlike.

He told us to sit down. And for the next 10 minutes he spoke about the importance of meditation in our lives. He wanted to hear the experiences of all who had attended the course. Well I just was sitting at one corner and was trying to understand the conversation that was taking place, hoping all of this gets over soon.

Once the dialogue was over, the ushers told us that all can personally seek blessings of Guruji and proceed to the course venue. All were told to assemble in one line and one by one they met Guruji. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity; some touched his feet, some photographed with him, most of them explained their problems and tried to get healed. I was standing way back in the line just in front of the old retired lawyer and his wife.

Seeing everybody talking to him and seeking his blessing made me wonder what I need to do. What do I talk to him? I didn’t want to sound stupid. At one moment I did feel that since he is referred to as god by many and has the cure for everything; should I tell him my problem? Is there a possibility that he could really heal? I mean what’s the harm…but the other part of me said I was stupid he just wouldn’t be interested!  He is meeting so many people before me …he would be giving a generic advice….lots of questions were going on in my mind… he had already met 20 people in the last thirty minutes. He must be tired.

Some time had passed and now I was the next in line to meet Guruji.  I turned to the retired lawyer behind me and told him that I really did not know what to say. He said simply seek his blessings. I had by then almost firmed up my plan to disappear soon after touching his feet. When my turn came, Guruji started talking to the usher next to him, I thought this was the right moment, just touch his feet and run away….I didn’t even look at him and went straight and bent down to touch his feet. I was hoping he wouldn’t even notice someone has touched his feet ….

And then the unexpected happened

 “How are you doing Stevan?”

Those of you who are familiar with Guruji’s voice would realize that he has a feminine tone to his voice. I could not believe it that he addressed me by name. It’s not a miracle though that he knew my name as he would have seen my tag card on my shirt pocket; however the fact that I never expected it caught me by surprise.

“How are you doing?, he asked me. At that moment I looked at him. He asked me with his infectious smile. I told him that I was doing well. I didn’t really know what to speak. “Guruji I have come from Mumbai and work for Mahindra& Mahindra”.  I told him that had a done the course earlier in Mumbai but always wanted to visit the ashram. He smiled at me. You know it’s very important to be comfortable with the person you are talking so that you can have an honest conversation. Guruji made me feel at ease….

At that moment I don’t know what happened but I felt like sharing something with him. But didn’t really know if he had the time. So I asked him hesitantly “Guruji I need to tell you something”. He opened up his arms and placed it on my shoulders and said “Go on son”.

I was not comfortable speaking since there were ushers all around so I leaned towards him and told him that I was going through a severe depression and I didn’t know how I will be able to get through this. I told him nothing seems to be working; I asked him if he could help. “Guruji can you help me get out of this”. I almost had tears in my eyes…

Guruji looked in my eyes and hugged me. I always mentioned that I really don’t believe in spiritual gurus but it was such a beautiful moment for me. A stranger holding me close with so much care. I felt good. And loved. And Guruji told me “Stevan don’t you realize that you are already feeling better since yesterday” And I took his blessings and moved on….

I was still unable to comprehend what had happened. It was completely unexpected. I was still to come to terms with the present. I waited outside for the retired lawyer and his wife….they were much eager to meet him….

They came out a few minutes later. By that time I was feeling normal again. We then proceeded for lunch which was served around 12. The retired lawyer told me “You are blessed Stevan, he hugged you. Very few people are that lucky...” I was slightly confused. “Yes definitely there was no doubt that I am feeling good however what am still confused about was the answer that Guruji gave. What did it mean? Yes I was feeling better since yesterday but why did he say that”, I asked the retired lawyer. “You know he did not answer my question. I asked him when I will be able to get out of all this and what do I need to do. But he never said anything on that.”  

The retired lawyer on seeing me confused smiled and his hands touched my face and then he said something very beautiful.  

And that’s when probably one of the biggest realization in my life happened. And no it did not come from Guruji but from the old retired lawyer who I believe was a god-send messenger. What he said at that moment changed the way I looked at things for ever.

“Guruji actually gave you the answer, to understand the true meaning you have to look deeper. Stevan, some questions just don’t have any answers, so stop looking for them. The more you try to search for the answer the more complications arise. There are many things in life which cannot be explained. It’s best to leave it at that. Sometime we feel that we have answered them, but the fact is it’s just a fiction of our imagination while the reality is that there are no answers for those questions. So stop worrying about the past and its happenings and its reasoning and move on”

That moment was perfect.

I found the answer to the most difficult question

Period

I had lots of questions in mind that evening

• “How did I end up at the Art of Living Ashram when I had actually planned to visit my friend’s place that weekend?
• When I reached Art of living ashram they informed me that there were no seats available. How did I actually manage to get that last seat?
• Why did I choose that retired lawyer from a group of other 30 individuals for the activity?
• Why did I meet Guruji? What made me open up?

I had hundreds of questions. On other days I would have wondered and thought about it.  But I guess that nite the answer was clear. It really didn’t really matter. For simply there is no answer for it. It just happened. And such things may happen again. Its best to take whatever comes, experience it and move on. By trying to question a happening we are merely not letting go of it and complicating things further

My close friends died in a train accident some years ago it was a painful experience losing a great friend, more so the terrible suffering their family had to suffer since he was their only child. I had many questions in my mind. Why did it happen to him? What wrong had he done? Why did he have to catch that particular train? What could have saved him? These questions which I am sure still haunts their family.

But then what’s the point? Digging deeper into such questions only brings pain and unhappiness associated with that event and we will never get answers to them. The day we realize that there is simply no answer and it just happened we probably learn to move on. Not to say one bit that the pain goes away, the pain would be felt but with this realization we accept what had happened and altleast make an attempt to move on and not let that pain be with us for years together…

Life presents many instances which are difficult to comprehend and what Guruji was trying to tell us was that one does not require delving deeper into such happenings. Its part and parcel of life and one needs to just accept it as a necessary happening in our journey of life. The moment we try to analyze a happening we stall our journey and reach nowhere

That was the answer which has been a core part of my existence since then. It helped me accept things and not go into unnecessary complications and pain. I have been able to move out of many problems quickly because of this.

The answer to the most difficult question of my life…..

That there are no answers to some questions. It’s best to leave it at that. And move on….

Perspectives...

(All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2007- 2009 © Stevan Noronha. Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.)

Diaries from Dharamshala – About destinations and journeys….

My solo trip to Dharamshala in March ‘08 was one of the most memorable and spiritually awakening trips ever

Those two days I spent at Upper Dharamshala were filled with experiences which taught some very important lessons about the journey called life….This one's the first in the series

Period

Dharamshala is the home of The Dalai Lama. I have always been fascinated by Buddhism and its teachings and this was one place I wanted to visit for a long time. I generally prefer to travel alone for such trips as it gives me a chance to connect with my inner self. Far from the mundane life of Mumbai, this place offered the perfect spiritual retreat.I had just two days to spend there since I had some other work. 

From a general tourist point of view frankly Dharamshala has not much to offer; The Dalai Lama temple is the main attraction. However what made me fall in love with this town was the beautiful landscape the calm suroundings. I did nothing but just went for long walks across the city. And yes I did manage to visit the Dalai Lama temple.

After visiting the temple my driver advised that I could visit the Bhagsunath temple. Now Bhagsunath is an ancient temple to the east of Mclodgenj which is the temple of Hanuman. Since i had a lot of time, decided to visit this place. After entering into the temple, i generally clicked some photos of the temple building and of people worshipping. There was a small holy lake in inside the temple where worshippers were taking holy dips. I was wandering around for the next 15 minutes, planning for the next stopover. In some time i reached the fag end of the temple. Few people told me that there is a gate at the end which is the entrance gate to visit Bhagsu waterfalls. I decided to check it out and entered the gate; what I saw there was sheer beauty. ( see the pic on the left) At quite some distance I could see the waterfalls at a considerable height which looked beautiful. I immediately fell in love with that place and had a desire to reach at the top point.

However even though there was willingness, the distance was a problem. The falls were at quite some distance and more so the road leading to the place was quite narrow with a deep valley on one side of it. However I was so struck with the beauty of that place that I decided to undertake the journey in any case. I began around 3.30 pm, assuming I would reach the end in just enough time to permit me to get back before sunset.

Since the path was narrow I was a bit careful about my journey. However after the initial hiccups I was steadier and gradually increased my pace.

Right from the start my eyes were set on the falls; I couldn’t hold my excitement to reach the top. I tried walking faster. However as time began to pass my excitement turned into worry. Nearly an hour into the expedition the end point to the top were still nowhere in sight, the distance to cover felt the same as before and this time around I had less of time. I was aware that i would require an equal amount of time to reach back. 

I started increasing my pace and hoped that I could catch up to the destination in time. However after 30 minutes of additional walking I decided to stop and head back as as otherwise it would have been too late to return  

Before beginning my  journey back, I decided to take a break generally to relax.  I found a place in the corner to sit down . I was quite disappointed for my miscalculations and for the fact that I could not reach the destination. I sprinkled some water onto my tired face and was wiping my face with the towel when i noticed something which had just struck me. I couldn’t believe what I was looking at. In front of me was the most beautiful sight. The view of the majestic himalayan mountains, its top covered with snow, the top layer covered with orange rays of sun, it simply looked magnificent.  I just stared at the place for the next one minute.  Frankly I could not explain the feeling. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen 

The feeling was WOW!

I just couldn’t believe that all along I was walking side by side such beautiful landscape but never had the time to admire it simply because I was too busy thinking about the falls and reaching there. Not that I was unaware of the fact that there were these beautiful majestic mountains I was walking along with but  I never appreciated the beauty of the sight like I was doing now.

That moment I had a smile on my face.  I realized something very important which since then has always been a part of my life and something which I follow religiously. And the idea of this blog originated there. I immediately wrote this down in my diary and began my journey back. Only this time there was a minor change. I was very happy, somewhat learned and more importantly was enjoying the beauty of the landscape around me. That day I never regretted the fact that I could not visit Bhagsu Falls.

Pause

 We all have destinations/goals set out. 

Some of them openly expressed, some reserved to ourselves. All of us want a good job, we want certain money in ‘x’ no. of years, want to keep our parents happy, a certain position in personal and office life. And our entire life is all about reaching those destinations.

However we all would have realized that when we reach a desired destination, the destination itself changes.  

So at the start of my corporate career I desired to have a car within three years of working. Although I could manage to do that, by the time I did that my desire had changed from car to house. So in effect the satisfaction of reaching the earlier desired destination (the car here) diminished

However what we do not realize is that to reach those destinations we have sacrificed a lot.

To become one of the most successful employees in his company and to reach to the top one gives his everything, sacrifices his family and personal health. What happens when he achieves the success? He may in the first place never achieve it (because it may be never meant to be for him) or even if he achieves it its may be at the cost of his family or health. Is it worth it at the end???

So does it mean that one should not aim for something?

Absolutely not. One should definitely have goals/destinations. I am a great believer in having clear goals/destinations set out. But at the same time one should be aware that in life one may not necessarily reach those desired destination; for things which are beyond one’s control. And one needs to be OK with it.

However one should also realize that the journey to the final destination is nothing but a collection of short journeys along the way. These short journeys have their own destinations. However we generally ignore the joy of reaching or crossing such small destinations along the way as we are too much fixated by the big destination. Beacuse of this fixation with the end we give up the small joys which life offers us along the way. 

We never know when our journey towards our final destinations may be cut short. If that indeed does happen what is left behind is plain sorrow and dejection as one is too much attached to the destination.

And hence it becomes important in our lives to enjoy these short journeys and their destinations with as much joy as one would experience reaching the final destination.

In this way the current journey is enjoyed the fullest regardless of the final outcome. Cause even if the final outcome is not reached, the fact that one has enjoyed and celebrated the short journeys along the way makes it worthwhile to have undertaken this trip.

And if one does eventually reach his final destination then the dream journey has magical ending. It just could't have been better.

So today as I dream of starting my own business and dream of the destination I make sure that I don’t let it overpower my living today. Each step or the short journies with its  destinations  is celebrated  and enjoyed to the fullest.

I am perfectly aware that that sometimes things may not work out however the fact that I  undertook the journey and enjoyed it for whatever distance I have covered makes it worthwhile for lifetime

It’s important that one keeps moving towards the destination and at the same time appreciating the goodness and the magic of the journey being undertaken

Cause life is not just about reaching those one or two landmark destinations but more about the experiences of the small journeys, some complete, some incomplete but nonetheless eventful which makes one’s life journey truly memorable

Perspectives

 (All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Stevan Noronha. Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.)

The magic of doing it all over again!

I had this wonderful finance professor at our MBA College who was a bundle of energy, passion and commitment all rolled up into one. She had the power to positively affect the students whom she dealt with during our college years.

I was fortunate to be one of them. Through this post I would like share an incident which happened two years ago.  The learning was deep and something which I have been following since then and has positively affected my way of living

Pause

This was somewhere in 2006; also the time when a social networking site called Orkut was the latest fad. Just about everybody was on orkut. In fact it used to be a benchmark to determine an individual's popularity.  The higher the number of friends/fan/scraps the more popular he was considered. Not to mention the number of testimonials. 

People used to bribe friends to write fake testimonials, pseudo accounts were created to increase the number of scraps/friends/fans. It was the time that everybody preferred to scrap instead of smsing…

I strongly believe the reason for orkut success was due to the fact that we love to peep into others life (and photographs!) and orkut provided the platform to do so. Sanity has returned of late and orkut has provisions of restricting only friends to read scraps and view photos…

I too was addicted with orkut. Had good number of friends and many scraps to my credit, though only a few testimonials; in fact only two. And the one by my sister also vanished when she deleted her account. And so that left me with just one testimonial which happened to be written by my finance professor who I was referring to at the beginning of this blog. That also was my first testimonial and special in many ways. Testimonials are really beautiful, I mean somebody actually takes time out and writes something good about you in public domain without expecting a testimonial back from you ( I know the last point is important as sometimes it ends up becoming a barter …I write for you and you write for me).  Was really very proud of that testimonial.

However that feeling was short lived. A few days later, this testimonial too disappeared! And I was now left with none. Not that it effected me (now isn’t this a lieJ) but after having seen the beautiful words written about myself I felt sad that it had gone and worse I had not even saved it!  I wondered why my professor deleted her account.

I happened to call my professor some days later to understand the reasons for her action.

I came to know that she had left our institute a few months ago and had joined some other institute. Her leaving our institute was a great loss as she was one of the best we had and had been involved with the institute since its inception years. More so her connect with the students was extremely strong.  I’m sure everyone in the institute had tried to persuade her to stay back but having known her i'm sure that she would have really thought it over before taking this decision

Orkut is generally associated with friends, youth and fun…very rarely have I seen any professor being so active on orkut but here was a different case altogether. In fact even after she left the institute many of her students were connected to her via orkut. And she happened to be one of the most admired personalities on orkut. You should only check her profile to believe what I am trying to say. Over 500 friends (mostly students) , 300 fans, over 30 emotional testimonials from her students. What more could a teacher ask for. The love and acknowledgment of her students for whom she toils day and night is probably the ultimate testimony of her work

However precisely because of this reason she was not able to let go of her old institute. It constantly reminded her of the institute and probably came her way in adjusting to her new environment. Having spent so many years at the old institute a part of her was always there. And it’s certainly not easy to adjust to a new surrounding where people don’t know you. She was trying hard to let go of the past and concentrate on the new job assignment however orkut always bought memories of the old institute

So one day she took a really bold decision. She felt that she really needs to move on and let go the past.  She decided to delete her orkut profile.

Now some may argue what is the big deal to delete a profile. But one only needs to see the love and emotions showered on her by the student on orkut to be able to understand the greatness of her decisions. She was not married at that point of time and teaching was one of the most important priorities. Orkut, where she connected with her students had become a part of her life. And by deleting it, in a way, she was letting go of her happiness. I mean how many people do that willingly. Even today I respect her for what she did.

She told me that she had let gone of orkut for some time till she gets back to normalcy with her new life. She promised that she would return in some month’s time

She taught me something very important here. By deleting the orkut profile she lost all the lovely testimonials, scraps which had been written for her. I thought she could have avoided losing all the lovely scraps/testimonials by simply not logging onto orkut for some months. However I later realized that it’s not the right way and she would never have been able to let go this way. To really let go you need to pluck it from the source. You need to experience the pain of losing everything to really move on…

I further asked her on the various testimonials which her students had written for her. Wouldn’t they feel bad about this? After all they had written something very beautiful. Also she had written many testimonials for many of her students (including me). They too have been lost. Could she have done something else so that this could have been avoided?

She said that before deleting her profile she had taken a print of all the testimonials written by her students which she will cherish forever because probably she knew all may not be able to write a testimonial for her again. Also once back on orkut she promised to write testimonials for all her students whom she had written for and got deleted

I asked her whether she had taken a copy of these too which would have made it easier later on to write again. She said that she would write the testimonials all over again.  I was surprised.

Till that day I always found it difficult to re-write something which had been lost due to some reason. I always felt that the best comes out when you write it the first time!

However what she said was very beautiful.

When I tried to understand from her whether the new testimonial would be the same as it were the first time around.  “It’s always more beautiful the second time around, you should try”. I mean this was just one of the statement made by her but which affected me very deeply

Pause

In our everyday life we encounter with so many situations where we are required to do things the second time over. And more often than not it’s very frustrating. We always believe that getting first time right is only way. But it’s not always possible.

We need to realize that we may fail the first time. Here failure does not necessarily have to do with any negative connation but may also mean that the work which was started remained incomplete. It could be smaller issues like a long sms which one had just typed and forgotten to save or some important slides of a presentation which disappeared due to power failure or major issues like a relationship gone wrong with your friend, partner, girlfriend, and parents.

When things go wrong/fail we start cribbing and quickly jump to the conclusion that it was never meant to happen and that it is a failure. We simply close our doors for any further corrective measures. Thinking that it may never work the same way. And hence we just don’t attempt to write that important sms with the same passion as one wrote it the first time simply for the fact that we think that words once written don’t come back; we waste time ruining over the fact that if power failure had not happened then the presentation would have been far better (as the earlier content was superior). Issues on which one has fought with their friends/partners/girlfriend/parents seem to be irrecoverable and considered to be the end of relationship

What this incident taught me was simply the fact we need to give ourselves that second chance. And it’s our inner self that needs to start believing it. Believing that there is a life in that second chance and we need to do full justice to it.  Cause many times even without this self belief we continue to write that sms, the presentation or continue the relationship. But unfortunately its not with the awareness that sometimes doing it all over again would make it more beautiful.  If done with complete awareness you will realize how the magic works. When you start to believe that second time over things will be better there you act differently. And it shows in your actions and results

It worked for me in more ways than one.

So some time back when I typed a long sms and suddenly it went blank instead of cribbing I happily decided to write it all over again. And the magic was that it sounded even better than the first time….something which I never thought was possible. Now when i lose some presentation content because of the failure to save it , I don’t waste even a minute in cribbing over it, immediately start working on it again believing that it will be even better next time around. And it works. A failed relationship does not come in my way of believing that it can be more beautiful the second time around. And its workingJ

And what’s more the biggest example is this blog itself…. I had written a few paragraphs of this blog few months back. Tried searching for it today when I sat down to complete however could not find it. So instead of searching I simply re-wrote the whole thing. And I felt really good about it ….Its the magic of doing things all over again. If we have that self belief it work out even better. Everyone needs to give others and oneself that second chance

If we believe in this we don’t really have to worry about losing anything because we are inherently confident that we can re-create whatever has been lost all over again. Sure sometimes even second times things don’t work out but what’s important is we are positive and that’s what makes all the difference. The power of believing that one can do it all over again.

And you know what after a few months my professor wrote that testimonial for me second time over. And believe me it was magical!

Perspectives.....

(All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Stevan Noronha. Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.)

 

What donkey are you ???

My good friend in her feedback on my last blog mentioned on the importance of trying out one’s luck again and again when things are not necessarily going your way instead of merely letting go…..she felt that letting go was too theoretical to be practiced

I agree partially with the argument but do not wish to contest at this point of time as its one's own perspective of looking at things. But this argument reminds me of a Buddhist parable which was narrated by a famous monk over the satellite radio some months ago. Although i don't remember the complete parable but for its fantastic learning's which it conveys I'm gonna risk risk narrating it in my own words .... i feel there is a lot to learn from the short and beautiful parable and should answer my friends dilemma

This is a parable about two donkeys. An ordinary and a Buddhist donkey!

Pause

The new owner of these two donkeys considered himself very smart. His earlier herd of donkeys were now of no use to him. He made life miserable for them. Too much work and strain took their toll. He always used to devise ways to ensure that his donkeys reach the marketplace in the quickest possible time to deliver the goods. He considered his donkeys to be the dumbest around. He was sure that they would fall to his tactics.

But little did he realize this time around among the two new donkeys, he was dealing with one Buddhist donkey!

The first day he put the one of the donkey's to work. This time around he had devised a new method to extract more work from them. The so-called smart owner had hung a carrot at exactly one feet's distance from the donkey's mouth as a inducement for the donkey to run faster. However the arrangement of the carrot was such that despite his best efforts the donkey could never manage to touch the carrot.

The donkey though had other plans on his mind. He felt that if he ran fast enough he would be able to catch hold of the much desired carrot .

And so as soon as the owner sitting on the back of the donkey with the goods, ordered the donkey to move ahead ...the donkey was on the job. With all eyes on the carrot he moved faster.He ran faster than he ever could. He felt it was just a matter of time before he could catch hold of the carrot. Unfortunately he realised that the faster he was running the further was the carrot moving away. He tried harder, ran faster; thought this time he would be able to catch up. However the carrot was always ahead of him.

The donkey however did not give up, he tried his luck more and more he thought he would be able to get it with a little bit more effort . Unfortunately little did he realize that he was fighting for a lost cause. The speed which the donkey managed to achieve, the owner reached the marketplace in a record time. However the carrot was still beyond the donkeys reach. he could never enjoy the carrot. The donkey was obviously frustrated blamed destiny. For the owner it was a job well done.

Pause

The next day the owner fresh from his previous days success tried the same technique with the other donkey. He expected similar results. However things don’t always go as planned. For our second donkey was different. This was a Buddhist donkey!

Same carrot for inducement. Same one feet distance. Beyond the reach of the Buddhist donkeys mouth. The Buddhist donkey fixes his eye on the carrot. He knows he desires it a lot and wants to get it as much as the donkey on the previous day desired. However something in him made him more convincing in his approach. Only time would tell.

As soon the owners ordered the donkey to start moving, the Buddhist donkey began his journey. He started building pace. Initially at a slow speed and then faster and faster. The owner in the mean time was visibly happy.He felt he's got hold of the magic formula to get work done faster and effectively. He also felt sorry for the Buddhist donkey who looked as if he was running for his life. He was running faster than any other donkey he’s ever seen. However with the increasing speed the carrot like the previous day was going further aways from him. But he never gave up . He ran faster and faster

But was he running to a plan? After all he’s a Buddhist donkey na;)

The Buddhist donkey's speed now reached a critical phase. It was the fastest he could ever run. The carrot too reached the furthest point away. He ran still faster. He broke his own speed record. As he reached his new fastest speed he executed his master plan . At his fastest speed when the carrot was furthest away from him ..........the Buddhist donkey ..........suddenly .......halts

Pause

And all witness the most beautiful thing. The carrot till now which was at the furthest point from the donkey's mouth due to the sudden halt slowly begins to move back towards the Buddhist donkeys in such a way that he can now catch hold of his most prized possession. The owners looks stunned. The donkey gives a pleasant smile. A job well done

Pause

If you happen to read my earlier blogs each one always ends with my point of view on the topic mentioned. However this time around I choose keep it open. I leave it for all to interpret this beautiful parable in your own way

Just some thoughts to ponder on....

We're all donkeys (Is there any doubt!)
Carrots are what we desire in life.
The owner is destiny (ok this is my addition can be argued)

So are you just a donkey or a Buddhist donkey?

Perspectives......

(All Content including Pictures are Copyrighted 2006- 2008 © Stevan Noronha. Copying or Using the content without permission is punishable and offenders will be liable for prosecution.)